


Give me your strength

by iisintrovert



Category: The Mortal Instruments (Movies)
Genre: "in the future", M/M, Malec, Rushed, cute stuff, day three, don't mind me, ill just go home, malec week 2k15, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4913056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iisintrovert/pseuds/iisintrovert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus isn't strong. Not as strong as his boyfriend, certainly not strong enough to continue on when every year he's with him is another he'll never be able get back. There's only one thing left to do...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give me your strength

I have so much more time... He thought. But it still isn't enough.  
It hadn't even been months since the wedding that Magnus promised Alec. Promised that they would make the most of what time the had together. Promised that no matter what, they wouldn't waste that time by trying to protect each other. Trying to stay away from each other.  
Magnus just wasn't strong enough.  
It pained him to admit it, but he just wasn't. He wasn't brave enough to fall any more in love then he already was, and he certainly wasn't brave enough to leave Alec. Not knowing that the poor boy would never stop loving him, just like he could never stop loving Alec.  
Not only that, but he wasn't brave enough to end his own life. Even shortening it would crush Alec just as much as it would crush him.  
He was too scared to do anything.  
So he just let it happen.  
And it was ruining him.  
He let himself feel this way for days. He allowed himself to love Alec, allowed Alec to love him. But he was too scared to continue.  
So what do I do?  
Magnus had no answers.  
Would he just let himself fall deeper in this hole if it allowed Alec to feel no different? Could he survive like that without showing it on the outside? It certainly felt like it had the most favorable outcome. Alec would feel loved, and love him, and he would be ruined. Alec wouldn't have to experience anything bad.  
But he was weak, so weak. Too weak to not show it.  
And so Magnus sulked. He was very good at it.  
After Alec left every morning for patrol and training, Magnus stayed in bed for hours, just staring up at his ceiling and contemplating his options, if any. He always ended up with the same conclusion. There's nothing I can do.  
Today was worse. He had woken up just before his lover had.  
Magnus' face was pressed against the back of Alec's neck, his arms wrapped around his lithe (and naked) waist, his front pressed flush against Alec's back. The overpowering scent of warmth and sandalwood invaded every part of him.  
Magnus sighed, nuzzling Alec's shoulder lovingly, and pressed a chaste kiss against the other man's collarbone. His warmth reached through the thin layers of cloth that separated them, Magnus' silky pajama bottoms and the borrowed t-shirt, Alec's boxers and socks. He pulled him closer, not wanting to let go. Never wanting to let go. He wouldn't ever be able to.  
“Magnus,” Alec whispered, his voice thick and hoarse from sleep. “I have to go.”  
I know. One day, you're going to leave me.  
Magnus buried his face in the crook of Alec's neck. “Uh uh.” He kissed his shoulder again, this time less chaste.  
Alec shivered, pressing back against Magnus. “I want to stay, but I can't.” he mumbled.  
Magnus pressed another open-mouthed kiss to Alec's neck, inhaling his scent like his air was the only thing keeping him alive. “Why not?” He could hear the plea in his own voice, disgustingly weak.  
The warmth in front of him let out a pleased sigh. “I've been late for training four times in a row.”  
Magnus pressed more kisses up to Alec's pulse point and lightly bit his ear. “So? They can wait.”  
Alec let out a shaky breath, as if it pained him to refuse. “Magnus, it's leg day. We're setting up the bags to practice high kicks. It really wouldn't be the best idea...”  
The taller man grinned against the side of his face. “That would be unfortunate if you stayed.”  
“I'm sorry.” Alec whispered. He turned around until his forehead bumped against his boyfriend's. Magnus looked up into his eyes, startlingly blue in the weak light that had passed through the small window above their bed. He watched as those eyes came closer, before they closed and long black eyelashes tickled his cheeks as Alec's lips were pressed against his own.  
He pulled away too soon.  
“I love you.” Magnus said, tracing a line down the side of Alec's face.  
“I love you more.”

It was just this morning, He thought. we have so much time. He just couldn't convince himself.  
Magnus had been laying in bed for five hours since Alec left that morning. It was crushing him. They had so much time, and for every moment of his life he had with Alec, he wanted more. He couldn't spend more time knowing that he would one day have to live without him. It tore him apart, but it was a truth he was forced to come to terms with it every day.  
Today was different. He couldn't put his finger on it but it was...special.  
He decided to get out of bed. No reason to mope around in his pj's, especially not when his gorgeous boyfriend would be returning in less then an hour.  
He decided on black uber-skinny jeans and an olive green shirt (almost as tight as his jeans), and pulled the majority of his hair back into a small pony-tail the back of his head. Magnus made his way to the conjoined bathroom to make his face pretty. He smudged eyeliner on his bottom eyelids and coated his face in a thin layer of sparkling gold powder. He smiled at his reflection in his bathroom mirror, but he couldn't even convince himself. This was normally the part of his day he spent with clients, but he had given himself Saturdays off since him and Alec had gotten back together. Why waste time with the incompetent? It would have been convenient, too. Alec's day off as normally Saturday as well, but demon levels have been uncharacteristically high since the wedding, and there would be no other time for the shadowhunter to train unless they took up extra hours on their days off. Not that Magnus minded, of course. It gave him a reason to spend even more “time” with Alec at night.  
Still, he needed to work on something. Something important.  
He was close, he knew it. There was just one more ingredient he needed to find, but he couldn't figure out its translation from the pages he found in the Book of White. It would solve all his problems...if only he could figure the damn thing out.  
Magnus made his way to his office. The extra room occasionally doubled as a bar during parties, with stools and beer taps to match, but at that moment it was in its usual state: potions bubbling and scrolls overflowing off the tops of counters. So many scrolls...  
Magnus stared at the old parchment resentfully. After copying down the entire magic book, mystic rune for rune, he had turned up with a dead end.  
He stopped in his steps the second after stepping into his office. Something was different.  
It was the paper. All of the parchment was in place, but one paper was different from the rest. A folded sheet of loose leaf sat at the top of the pile.  
He immediately plucked it up. A note?  
From Alexander? He wondered. Why would he leave me a note in my office when he wakes up with me every morning?  
Magnus unfolded the paper – and his smile fell from his face.  
A detailed codex covered most of the page, followed by an odd signature.  
Thought you might want this, moron.  
R.F.  
Magnus frowned. What mysterious being would insult him after helping him?  
He dropped the note in surprise. “Help!” He shouted. “HELP!”  
The codex!

“Magnus,” a familiar voice called through his apartment. “I'm home! I got here early, Maryce let me leave after Jace cut down the third sandbag with his boot.”  
Magnus didn't respond. Just a couple more additions to the potion, just a little more time, maybe another caffeine pill,  
“Magnus?” The voice took on a worried tone. “Are you in here?”  
He poured the finished product into a shot glass and was about to tip his head back when –  
“What are you doing?” Alec asked. He stood in the doorway, holding two mugs, each empty after Magnus downed a combination of coffee, tea, espresso, and crushed caffeine pills.  
“I'm fixing everything.”  
With that, he took a deep breath, stared into Alec's eyes, and poured the potion down his throat.

He woke up to a disconcerting scene.  
Alec was pacing above him, tears streaming down his face. He was yelling into a cellphone.  
“I don't care about the damn rules, I need you to get some medics here now!”  
“Alexander...” Magnus mumbled. He felt so weak, so tired. He could barely manage more then a whisper.  
“He just – ” Alec's voice cracked. “he drank some strange potion and passed out.” He threw a hand into the air in exasperation. “I don't know! It was just red, and, and glowing, and he wont respond to CPR and I need you to come here! Please, Mom. I'm begging you.”  
Magnus lifted his head. Alexander was crying. Why is he crying?  
He reached out, trying to pull himself off the plush maroon carpet. Why am I in the living room? “Alexander!” he said again, this time with more force behind his words. “Don't cry!”  
“Magnus?!” The man visibly paled, and the streams of tears on his face continued down. “By the angel!” He frowned at his cellphone. “No, not you Maryce, He just woke up. Yes, you still have to call a medic. Try Catarina Loss, if you can.”  
Alec threw his phone away and fell down to his knees. He pulled Magnus' head into his lap, and showered his cheeks with kisses, tears still falling. “Oh Raziel, Magnus. What happened?”  
He simply smiled. “I fixed it. The serum, I finished it.”  
“The...the serum? Magnus, you can't be serious!”  
“I'm more serious then I could ever be.” He reached up with what little strength he had and cradled the sides of Alec's face. The beauty that was his eyes stared down at him. “It worked. I'm mortal.” he whispered.  
Alec pulled Magnus up to his lips, kissed him like he couldn't breath and Magnus was oxygen. Kissed him like he hadn't seen him in weeks, and when Magnus ran his fingers through Alec's hair and kissed him just as much ferocity, he thought to himself. This, this is what I've been missing.  
“OH!” he proclaimed, falling back to the ground. “I've almost forgotten. What better time then this momentous occasion?”  
Alec looked down at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”  
Magnus made his way onto his knees, kneeling before Alec who, incidentally, was kneeling as well.  
“Alexander Lightwood.”  
The other man looked visibly shocked.  
Magnus pulled the little black box out of his pocket, the one he'd been carrying around since five weeks ago, just itching for the right time.  
“Will you marry me?”  
Breath hitched in Alec's throat. “Magnus...” The tears that had stopped flowing were now coming down again, and Magnus felt them on his own cheeks as well. A look of determination crossed his expression. He reached underneath his gear jacket and pulled out a thin silver chain. Dangling on the end was a familiar looking ring, emblazoned with small, ornate torches. The Lightwood family ring.  
“That depends. Will you marry me?”

**Author's Note:**

> Btw when I typed “I'm home” Auto correct on open office suggested “I'm homosexual”


End file.
